What is a relationship? What is a designer relationship?
A "relationship" might minimally be thought of as a connection. When applied to small infinities, like you and me, a "relationship" might be thought of as a connection between richly complex persons, minds and intelligences. These relationships vary in their degree of structure, from loosely structured ("I just met this person.") to very structured ("That's my mother, and I am her first child."), with every degree of structure in between. They are not necessarily mutually exclusive ("My son is also my friend!").
Combining what we have so far, a relationship is "a connection between persons with some degree of structure."
Now, what is a designer relationship? Let me tell on myself a little before going further: I don't know what a designer relationship is and I don't want to try to define it. I want to think about it for the rest of my life, by myself and with other people, and I want play around with some of the kinds of relationships that might emerge from design. I want to play with some of these ideas in the abstract. And some of those ideas I want to play around with in specific with real people.
But I do have an evolving feel for what I mean and will drop some thoughts around the vicinity of the concept, to bring that “feel” out a little.
A designer relationship arises when one or more people in the relationship undertakes to shape the relationship by design. They design in general by identifying components of any relationship and think about how to arrange and rearrange some of those components to create something different. They design in specific by additionally taking into account components of the specific persons in the relationship and think about how to arrange those components to create something different. By "different" I mean, different from what might be expected to arise without a specific design.
The designing can be undertaking by one designer. The designing can be undertaking by more than one designer. For the purposes of Small-Infinites, the lab, the most interesting case is when two designers collaborate to design a relationship, giving rise to a relationship between relationship designers!
Exploring the potential and art of designing relationships between small infinities is one of the hoped-for contributions of Small-Infinities the lab.
[next time
Why is this interesting for Small-Infinities? What design principles are available. Who can be a designer. Are you a designer?
Desing principles?
Designing relationships around the "Nothing Inside" principle.
Designing relationships around the " infinite for all practical purposes (iAPP)" principle.
Design goals?
Designing for fun
Designing for connection
Designing for friendship
Designing for intimacy
Designing for resiliency
Designing to design: I just want to do it because I love designing!]
[concept fields: design, ephemeral design, Infinity Aware Design, biophilic design, Design Principle, design, ephemeral design, Infinity Aware Design, biophilic design, Design Principle, What Small Infinites does, designer relationships, relationship model, minimalism in relationships, relation (formal), telling on myself]
If you would like to reference this page, here is an APA Style citation:
Smith, T. (2026). Designer Relationships. Small-Infinities. https://small-infinities.com/surfaces/designer-relationships